Joke the Plumber

Ok, hands up. Who here was a little bit moved to hear about "Joe the Plumber" last night, the hard-working, self-made man from Ohio, who was worried that with Obama's tax proposal, he might not be able to buy the plumbing business that he helped start 15 years ago? Who didn't feel a little twinge of understanding when the candidates described Joe's tough situation, wanting to live the American Dream and finally own his own business? But as McCain pointed out repeatedly, Joe had told Obama at a rally in Toledo that he was afraid that with Obama's tax proposal, he would have to pay significantly more taxes than he would with McCain's proposal, and he just didn't think he would be able to swing the purchase of his business if Obama was president.

Aw, shucks, everybody. Joe the Plumber is exactly what Palin refers to as Joe Six-Pack - the "average American". And he is the reason that everyone should vote for McCain - so that we Americans can all find our own American Dream.

In fact, Joe the Plumber seems almost a little too perfectly average. And his story seems just a tad too convenient from, say, a McCain campaign perspective. And if there's one thing I've learned about politics, it's that the story that's too perfect, isn't a real story.

Joe "the Plumber" Wurzelbacher may really be a plumber - at least he claims to work for a business called "Newell Plumbing and Heating". During the debate, though, it sounded to me like Joe had worked there for his whole adult life - or "for all those years" to quote McCain. Turns out, Joe has only worked there for maybe 6 years by his own admission. And, also a little odd, Joe doesn't have a plumber's license, a fact that he himself freely put forward in an interview this morning. He states he doesn't need one because he is the employee of a plumbing contractor (who is presumably licensed himself). But someone else did some investigating, and it looks like Joe the Plumber is supposed to be licensed if he does any plumbing work in Lucas County - and he's not. Nor is his boss for that matter. It seems really unlikely that Joe is on the verge on buying his own plumbing business if he doesn't even have his own license, and his lack of one also suggests that either a) Joe isn't even a plumber, or b) Joe's working without a license, which is illegal.

Now, Joe seemed very worried about his small business taxes once he bought his company, even after Obama explained to him that his taxes would only increase if his business made more than $250,000 a year in revenue. But Poor Joe still seemed worried that he probably wouldn't be able to afford to buy his own piece of the American Dream at all if Obama is elected. It's a real tragedy that the increase that Obama proposes on businesses that earn more than $250,000 yearly in revenue will make old Joe suffer. And let's be clear - the increase that is going to trample old Joe's dream is a whopping 3%. Yep, folks, Obama's proposal would raise those business taxes from 36% (the current rate under G.W. Bush) to an absolutely unheard of 39%! Except, well, Joe admitted today that the business isn't even close to making $250,000 yearly. That's what he would pay to buy it.

So, once again, I am forced to ask, how dumb does the McCain campaign think we really are? Are we really supposed to believe that Joe the Plumber doesn't want a break in his taxes now, when our economy is tanking, the housing market is falling to pieces, and unemployment is steadily rising? He would rather vote against a possible tax increase sometime in the future, IF he manages to buy his own business, and IF it does well enough to earn revenues of over $250,000, than receive a tax break NOW. And let's face it, if Joe makes about the same income as the other folks in Holland, Ohio, he probably could use a tax break right now. The average household income in Holland in 2007 was $39,600.

And if it seems a little too convenient that Joe just happened to show up at an Obama rally, and happened to have a pressing question for Obama that had no relation whatsoever to his own situation, but was the one plausible situation a plumber might be in that would mean he would have to pay higher taxes under Obama's proposal, then it probably is. As I noted above, the fact that he doesn't have a plumbing license raises the issue of whether he is even a plumber. And, it turns out that Joe Wurzelbacher is a registered Republican. And he voted Republican in the primary. So it's pretty safe to say that he isn't undecided. He wasn't at the Obama rally to try to make an informed decision between the candidates. He was there as a plant, to try to make Obama's tax proposal look bad for Joe the Plumber Six-Pack American.

If I sound a little too cynical, it's because I am. But my cynicism is not without basis. Let's add this little fact into the mix. Joe shares his last name with a guy named Robert. Robert lives in Milford, Ohio. Robert has a father-in-law names Charles Keating. Robert worked in Keating's company, and plead guilty and served time for his part in the Lincoln Savings scandal that lost many Americans' life savings and cost the taxpayers billions. And Joe is Robert's son. Now, sure, coincidences happen. But statistical impossibilities don't.